The week that was meant to be differentPersonal Updates 30 April 2020
Today would be my last day off for the time being. Tomorrow my alarm clock would not go off at seven o’clock, but earlier. Amstelveen is not just around the corner. I would be on the train with a strange feeling in my belly, of both excitement and enthusiasm. On my way to my first day at KLM: the start of a new chapter.
Instead, we have entered the seventh week of the corona measures, I applied for unemployment benefits last week for the first time in my life and I am feeling pretty miserable because of that. Despite trying to keep my spirits up, my ‘can do’ and ‘everything will be fine’ mindset has let me down over the past week and I’ve had a pretty hard time. And that is something that may also be shared. It’s not all ‘rainbows, butterflies, and unicorns’.
Try to enjoy it
Around me, in addition to being supported, I also regularly receive the advice to try and enjoy this time. I have the free time now. I can do what I want to do. Soon I will have a job again, at least, that is what I expect and hope, and I can start working again. This is the time. And despite the fact that I sometimes manage to enjoy myself, I notice that the corona measures and all the uncertainty about the future get in the way a lot. If I were ‘free’ in the world of three months ago, I would probably have spent this time differently.
Give me the courage to change what I can change; give me the serenity to accept what I cannot change and give me the wisdom to see the difference between the two.
It is what it is
The measures are there, and I cannot change them. The only thing I can do is comply with them as well as I can, in the hope that this will all be over soon. It is a fact that I do not have an employer at the moment. But I still have a full-time job: finding a new job. I try to make the best of it and try to keep myself ‘happy’ as much as possible. After all, it’s not the events themselves, but how I deal with them that determines how my life looks. And that is something I can control… #PositiveVibes
But that is not always easy
One day I am very happy and busy as a bee, feel more grateful than ever for my lovely home and wish I had more hours in the day. And then the next day, things can be different. Then I burst into tears every hour, for literally nothing, cannot get anything done and I have a sad outlook on things.
Fortunately, there is a balance that makes it ‘doable’. The good days still dominate. But I do notice that I sometimes have to do my best to maintain that. Think of: building in structure, forcing myself to go for a walk, etc. Fortunately, I’ve never been someone who got bored easily. Especially now, that is something I can be very happy about. And if there is a day that it doesn’t work out, then that is just the way it is. Spending the whole day in pyjamas on the couch watching series is fine too, right?
Enjoying the little things
I notice that at the moment I get my happiness from the littlest things. The whole staying at home thing creates a sense of isolation for me that doesn’t necessarily make me happy, but it also creates a certain peacefulness. Less haste. Less stress. And more time and attention for the little things that we would normally probably overlook. Despite the fact that the world is a bit complicated right now, there are still many things that have recently made me happy.
My happy moments of the last few weeks
The morning sun shining in and creating a beautiful play of lines in my living room ♥ The super sweet ‘online’ goodbye of my colleagues on my last day at work ♥ The big and colourful bunch of flowers that came with it ♥ Dogs running around in the park with waggling tails; the world is still the same for them ♥ Home-baked bread ♥ Accidental encounters, although a metre and a half apart ♥ Stable blood glucose levels ♥ Running in the sun and getting a better pace with every training session ♥ The help of family, friends acquaintances and my online network ♥ Feeling cozy in the evening when lighting candles ♥ Skype conversations ♥ Driving around with my parents and getting a McFlurry at the McDrive ♥ Lots of new plants that make my house feel even more like home ♥ Getting my old thermostat working again, because my fancy thermostat needs to be repaired ♥ Financial surprises ♥ Having food in the freezer for over a month, so I don’t have to cook every day ♥
Hopefully May will be a nicer month and things will start moving in the right direction again as of tomorrow! With more ups than downs and hopefully more good news! 🙂